Typical January conversation
in a North Country bar

Vince: "How cold was it out at your place this morning, Ron? "

Ron: "We had 42 below."

Vince: "Is that all it was? Over in Brookdale, we had 47 below."

Ron: "Yeah, but we had 42 below without the wind chill."

Vince: "It was still as a grave at my place this morning."

Ron: "Of course my thermometer was in direct sunlight,
so the actual temperature was more like 50 below."

Vince: "Well, my thermometer measured 47 below Celsius,
which is actually 53 below, Fahrenheit."

Ron: "Oh. Maybe I oughta get me a Celsius thermometer,
all I have is this old Kelvin thermometer."

Vince: "Ridiculous. A Kelvin thermometer can only go as low
as zero, when all motion stops."

Ron: "Golly, then that explains why my chickens were all walking
funny this morning. It musta been so cold this morning at my place that
everything stopped moving forwards, froze, and then started
moving backwards."

Vince: "Umph." .

Note: Ron wins in this rare violation of the cardinal rule of Cold Wars:
He who first gives a figure for the temperature loses. . . .



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